


Stanley Uris Takes A Bath

by stanuris



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Kidfic, M/M, Stanley Uris Takes a Bath, major major suicide warning, suicide warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stanuris/pseuds/stanuris
Summary: "stenbrough but one becomes a single parent (continuation from our hc, i'll leave who dies up to u hehe)" hannah is evil and i made myself cry writing this,or;bill still misses stan, but will always love him.





	Stanley Uris Takes A Bath

People still ask Bill why it happened. Pity-filled glances at PTA meetings, questions about how his kids are doing. People tell him how angry they are at Stan, and yet Bill can't understand their anger. All he feels is empty. 

It’s been sixteen days since Stan last told Bill he loves him. It’s been sixteen days since Bill saw Stan’s smile, and sixteen days since he held him. It’s been sixteen days since Bill’s husband took a bath- Bill’s husband who swore to only take showers for the rest of his life at the age of eight. Stanley used to tell Bill that baths were gross- you stewed in your own dead skin and dirt for an hour and tried to relax in an uncomfortable heat.

Even now, Bill can’t wrap his head around why it happened, either. Stan had always had mental health issues- but he was getting better. He was happy, he was safe and he was married with  _kids._ With  _their_ kids. And yet Stan still couldn’t find it within himself to stay.

Sometimes Bill blames himself for this- thinks it’s his own fault that Stan’s gone, thinks that if he was a better husband, a better friend, a better father- that Stan would still be around if he was just  _better._ Bill’s thankful, though- he’s thankful that his kids were too young to remember, too young to be hurt by this. The oldest of the three- Georgie- was only two and a half the night that Stanley decided to take a bath.

Even though he usually doesn't, sometimes Bill gets angry. He knows he shouldn't. He isn't usually like this, but... He can’t help it- his husband was  _gone_ and he couldn’t ever know why. He couldn’t ever get the answers he wanted, the closure he  _needed._ So, Bill’s taken up kickboxing. He fights his anger out. When he gets so angry that he throws his wedding ring into the quarry, he calls Eddie and Mike. Neither of them say a word, they just help him feel around in the water until they find it again.

Bill keeps Stanley’s picture in his wallet, and carries it around with him every day. When Robin first asks about their dad, Bill breaks down crying. He gathers his three kids into the living room a “meeting,” and he tells them about the first time he met Stan.

“ _We were four,”_ Bill starts off. “ _We were f-fo-fo-ur y-years o-o-o-”_ He clenches his fists against the posts of the armchair he’s sitting on, until he can slow his breathing and stop his stuttering. “ _We were four years old and we went to the same daycare. Stan- your dad- would line up his crayons so the bottoms of them were all lined up. He’d organize them by color, in rainbow order, and he’d re-read the same tattered picture book about birds to me every day. He’d point at the birds we’d see out the window and tell me how he wanted to be that free someday. That he wanted to-”_ Bill’s voice breaks at this. “ _That he wanted to fly.”_

All three of the Denbrough-Uris children look up at Bill, enraptured by his storytelling. Bill wipes a tear from his eye, and continues.

“ _The first time he told me that he loved me, we were twelve. We had defeated a terrible monster, and he chased after me. He was going to go home, but he turned around and ran back to me. He held my hands and told me that he loved me and that no matter what, we’d b-b-be-”_ Bill lets out a ragged sob, his hands squeezing his knees. “ _That no matter what, we’d be together. I loved him- I still love him- more than I can ever describe. Even now, I still love him more than I can put into words. The last time that he told me he loved me, he looked so... Sad. But he squeezed my hands and told me he loved me, and that was the last time I saw him. But- b-but I love him still. I’m angry at him, sometimes I get even angrier than I am now. I hate him for leaving, but_ god  _do I love him. But, you three, he’ll always be in our hearts. For now, for as long as we can, we have to just hold onto our love for him and hope that he’s at peace. He might now be with us now, but he’s always in our hearts.”_ Bill covers his mouth with one hand, sobbing softly.

It’s been ten years since Bill heard Stan tell him that he loves him. It’s been ten years since he’s held Stan’s hand, and ten years since he’s seen the love of his life. Bill doesn’t get angry anymore- he still gets sad, but he doesn’t get angry. He keeps a journal again, for the first time since he was a kid, and he writes about things Stan would like. He tells his journal about birds that he sees, about things that their kids have done. He tells his journal- he tells  _Stan_ about his day, about how much he misses him and what he wishes he could tell him for real.

Sometimes Bill thinks about what he’d tell Stan if he saw him again. At night, he lulls himself to sleep by imagining Stan’s arms around him. He wishes that he could hold him again, but he looks into his children's eyes and he sees Stan’s smile. He sees Stan’s eyes, his heart, his love. He sees everything he wants to live for, he sees everything he misses. And he sees everything that motivates him to keep going.

Every time Bill looks at the sky and sees a bird soaring happily, he sees a bit of Stanley. Every time Bill looks at a flower, he sees Stan’s heart in the petals. Every time Bill looks at his kids, he sees the love he has for Stan. He sees everything he’s ever dreamed of, and yet part of Bill still feels like it’s missing.

He hopes that Stan’s flying away somewhere, soaring with the birds.


End file.
